B:† Hey Monique, I really need to talk to you about something.† Itís really important that I get this out because I donít want it to jeopardize our friendship any further, but Iím really angry with you right now.
M:† Look, I already know what this is about and I donít want to talk about it.† Iíve told you before that youíre still my friend even though I have a boyfriend, and you know it.† I think youíre just getting jealous.
B:† No, Iím not, and we have to talk about it.† Ever since you got with Greg, youíve been totally ditching me.† You never hang out with me anymore, and whenever I call you to talk, you wonít return my phone calls.† I feel like you arenít really a true friend to me anymore.† Maybe thereís no such thing as a best friend anymore.† Whatís the meaning of a true friend these days anyways?
M:† What do you mean; Iím not a true friend anymore?† You know I would still be there for you if you really needed me, and I think thatís enough.
B:† Oh, so thatís all a friend is to you now, someone to be there for you?† Now that you have a boyfriend, you donít need my company and you donít need to talk to me anymore?† There are many other people that would be there for you that I know you wouldnít consider being your true friend?† For example, youíre mom would be there for you too if you needed her, but do you consider her to be a true friend?
M:† Well, no, not exactly, butÖ
B:† Thatís what I thought.† I think there is much more to friendship than that and you know it.
M:† Okay, well I consider you to be my true friend.† I think itís because our personalities are so compatible, and I still think that the fact that youíre there for me makes you a true friend.
B:† Okay, well weíre getting a little closer I guess.† So now you think that compatibility is what makes true friendship.† Are we true friends because weíre compatible or are we compatible because weíve been friends for so long?† Thatís something for you to think about. So I guess the whole compatibility notion doesnít really work either because we canít really prove which idea is right.† If we went over and talked to Sherry over there, I bet we would find that the two of you have a lot in common, but we all know that you hate her because she stole your sweater, right?† You can be compatible with someone and they still may not be your true friend.
M:† I donít understand, Brandy.† What do you want from me?† I told you youíre still my friend didnít I?
B:† OkayÖhereís the deal.† If you can come up with the true meaning of friendship before I have to go to cheer practice, then I will consider forgetting this whole thing.† If you canít, however, we are going to have to work a little harder to get our friendship back and youíre going to have to do the majority of that work.
M:† Thatís not fair, and I donít know if I can do that.† Youíre putting me in a really awkward position.† This is kind of childish donít you think.
B:† Well, maybe, but weíve always been know to be slightly immature.† I suggest you try and solve this little problem we have here.
M:† Well, I consider you to be a true friend, and Amanda too.† Shouldnít that be enough of a definition?† All of the qualities that you posses are what make us such a good group of friends.
B:† But what are those qualities.† It doesnít work to define friendship using a person as an example.† We have to be able to come up with some sort of concrete definition that would work for every person.
M:† Well there are a lot of characteristics that make up a good friend.† I want friends to be honest, trustworthy, compassionate, to be there for you, and for us to be compatible.† I also want someone who is forgiving.† Hint, hint.
B:† Ha, ha.† Those are important qualities, but I have different qualities in mind.† What about respectful, supportive, and considerate.† Those are things that friends should understand, but you donít seem to know the meaning of those concepts.
M:† Okay, I get the picture.† I know youíre mad at me, but canít we get over that for a minute so that we can figure this out.† You have to leave in five minutes, and Iím not willing to lose a friend over a guy and some stupid conversation.
B:† We still havenít come up with a concrete definition.† Maybe there are many definitions that satisfy the true meaning of friendship.
M:† What about this.† The true meaning of friendship lies in the eye of the beholder.† It may be one definition for one person, but another person may feel totally different about what true friendship should consist of.† Does that satisfy you?
B:† I donít know.† It still really isnít a true definition, and itís not really what I was looking for.
M:† Look, my point is that each person has the ability to form their own feelings toward friendship and what they want in a friend.† I want honesty, trust and compassion, which are some of the reasons I consider you such a good friend.† I donít want this to come between us.
B:† Okay, I guess I can go along with that.† It is rather philosophical of you to think of that if I may say so.
M:† Thank you.† So can we forget that all of this happened and get on with our friendship?† I promise I will start spending more time with you.
B:† Sounds good to me.† I better get going before Iím late to practice.† Iíll call you tonight.
M:† Okay.† Thanks Brandy.