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By Holly Ford

Today I feel a lack of music in my soul

I feel alone, confused, misplaced and tired.

My inner voice has quieted, dulled,

lulled to sleep by the roar of techno-progress

and psycho-babble.

I’ve battled insecurities all day

Yet still they loom before me

For I’m weakened, drained,

And angred by my self-anger.

I slump, head in hands

Bathing in frustration and afraid of isolation

Wrapped in my choke-hold of silence

IlovehimIlovehimIlovehimI

See him worshipping his angels

O lost love a religion though he’ll always deny it

And he’s shackled and manacled

Likemelikemelikeme

Tied to the weight of his words

And I claw and I scratch while I

Make accommodations for my pain

And I smile when I walk down the street

And I smile when the angels walk by

And I smile and I dance while I’m

Pushing back the heat within my glance

And I’m watching him thinking of her

And he can’t understand,

Won’t realize that I’m looking at him

With my heart in my eyes

Singing lovemelovemeloveme free me

Lift me up and spin me

Pull me in your tides and crazy shores

Tell me what I think I see from time to time in you is true

I’ll splash in your wake if I know I’m wanted to

And I’m watching him trusting him

Watching him walking alone wanting her

And I pull myself up and I shine for him

Golden and glowing above him

And he sees me and says

If it’s bright, well, she shines brighter

(but he’ll never admit it)

and I sink below the horizon

aching in red and orange over hills

he must have shared more deeply

with her

and I am not her

but ilovehimilovehimilovehim I