Discovering Ideas

Intensive Peer Review

As you read the essay, circle or underline specific errors or problems you notice: misspelled words, punctuation errors, sentence fragments, or unclear wording. Read through the entire essay aloud--quietly if other people are around, but so that you can actually hear it--without stopping to write lengthy comments. If you notice something you'd like to return to later, make a check mark in the margin as a reminder. After you have read through the entire essay, but before you read the thesis statement on the last page, respond to the following questions on a separate sheet of paper. If you are submitting this review by e-mail, put the word "Essay" and the essay number in the Subject line, followed by the name of the person who wrote the essay. For example: "Essay #3, Joe Smith." If you are word-processing the review or writing it by hand, put the writer's name in the upper left-hand corner of the page, and write your name directly underneath it. Give the number of the question or prompt from this page on your response. The paragraphs of the essay should be numbered when you receive it, but if they are not, number them.

1. Before you look at the thesis statement the writer has written on the last page, write what you think the thesis of the essay you have just read ought to be. Try to write as good a thesis statement as you can, one that reflects in a single sentence everything in the essay.
2. After you have written your own thesis statement, look at the one on the last page. Are they significantly different? Which one reflects what the essay actually says better? Try to explain the difference. Did you miss something in the essay that the writer's thesis statement captures? Why? Did the writer leave out something significant from the essay in his or her thesis? What? Is there something in the writer's thesis that isn't in the essay? Can you suggest revisions in the thesis that would make it a better guide for revising the essay. Refer to The Checklist for Revising Thesis Statements.
3. Make a list of the topic sentences of each paragraph, numbered in order. Skip a line between each topic sentence. You may use a sentence from the paragraph, which you may indicate by quoting the first few words, but enough to clearly identify the sentence. Or you may write your own topic sentence if the topic sentence of the paragraph is only implied. If the paragraph is not unified, write "not unified."
4. Does the writer answer the question "How do you know?" in each paragraph in such a way that most readers will be satisfied and accept the topic sentence? Are you satisfied? I mean, do you actually believe what the writer says? If you don't believe it, why not? What additional evidence or examples would you need to get you to believe it? Be as specific as you can. Where would you need to go to find the evidence to strengthen this essay? Is the evidence given presented and explained clearly? Respond by paragraph numbers. Refer to chapters Support Your Claims.
5. Look at the sequence of paragraphs. Does it make sense? Does it flow? Is there a reason for moving from one paragraph to the next, or does the transition seem arbitrary? Identify by paragraph number any places where you can't see any reasonable connection. Do you see any paragraphs or groups of paragraphs that should be moved or rearranged to be more effective? Does the writer need to add material to make what's there fit together? What?
6. Read the first paragraph and the last paragraph, leaving out the middle of the essay. Does it sound as if the contract is completed? Does it sound like these are the beginning and ending of the same essay? If not, why not? Review the introductory and concluding paragraphs in light of the suggestions in chapter 3d of K&M. Would you recommend revision of these paragraphs?
7. Review the List of Works Cited. Note any errors, and correct them. Use chapter 33a of K&M.
8. Overall, what does the writer need to do most to make this essay a really effective essay? Narrow down the topic? Clarify the point? Unify the thesis? Develop more supporting evidence? Reorganize the essay so that it moves smoothly? Add material that is missing? Something completely different? Lay out a fairly specific plan for the writer, suggesting reasonable steps that will actually make the essay better, not vague platitudes. If you say it is already a "good essay," that's fine. But the question is how to make it better.

If you are doing this peer review at home, bring two copies of your response to class: one for the writer and one for me. If you are sending it by e-mail, send a copy to me as well as to the writer of the essay.

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Discovering Ideas
Palomar College
jtagg@palomar.edu
This page was last edited: 01/05/09